I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
