I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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