you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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