His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The adults are the big ones right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
