a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
