i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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