Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
