But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
