i need an iv and a liver transplant
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
