we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
