If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
