Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
