I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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