I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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