Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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