My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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