I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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