Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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