do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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