at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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