So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize