I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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