Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
