I'm lost and stupid without you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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