You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
