East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's just like the Real World with babies
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
