I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
