I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
