hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize