LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
