too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
