I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I skipped work to stalk him.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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