walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
