So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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