Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's blow job season.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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