Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
