508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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