nut hugger
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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