We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
