in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
