I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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