She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
where are my eyebrows?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize