i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
