"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this just has baby written all over it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
