Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize