Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
