I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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