if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize