We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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