I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
