i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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