We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
