you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
