I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize