You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
