I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
