I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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