I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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