Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
