it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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