You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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