vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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