Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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