we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize