My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
